Regrets, I’ve had a few … .How many of us are stuck in ruts because we cling to past slights, traumas, missed opportunities, and betrayals? The best way to let go and move forward is to acknowledge and accept those negative things you did (or had done to you) as steps on the path that brought you to where you need to be today.

Today, recall the pain of your past. Allow yourself to get to the point where you can accept that they were blessings; the perfect things that helped you build a new you. If you can release your grip on the anger, sadness, and regret, then it will be easier to spot the Light in the darkness. (quoted from daily kabbalah tuneup)

Interesting that this would come up just now.

I am working with a client/friend, let’s call her DD. She has been doing great. She has gotten in touch with the light in herself and her power to choose.

She is severely overweight and it’s effecting her overall health, but more than anything, her self image.

This past week she has gotten hungry twice while she was doing errands, and she didn’t give in to the temptation to get a quick supersized meal at the many fast food places on her way… instead she drove home and ate what she had planned to eat that day. Major victory.

The effect on her self esteem, self image was dramatic. She suddenly could see the light at the end of the tunnel, both in regards to regaining her health, and in regards to making a living, being a good parent, loving herself.

Her capacity to face what she didn’t like about herself increased to a point where accepting those as facts, and taking responsibility for them became a real possibility. … and you know that until you can accept something about yourself or about life, or about another, there is no chance to change it. It just won’t change, unless it has permission to be exactly how it is. (or how it isn’t…)

Until yesterday she was moving on the path. Yesterday her daughter yelled at her and told her that she’d rather live anywhere than with her, even foster parents would be better than her. That she learned to be bad from DD.

I asked DD how she took that, and she, in a very quiet little voice said that she could see her point and that she was a bad parent. But you could hear, this crushed her. It put her back to where she had no future. Where she was incorrigible, bad, worthless, and undeserving of love or care from anyone, especially not from herself.

Which takes me to my point. When you get better, when you put yourself on the path to become who you were meant to be (not that puny little thing that can only complain, and regret, and resent) Satan will “hire” your best friend, your spouse, your children, the radio (!) to take you off the path. And Satan’s method is to make you react.

Without my assistance, DD would have slipped back to where she was 10 days ago and hang out there maybe forever. In a complete sense of worthlessness. Not worthy enough to be taken care of, be fed good food in normal quantities.

From her tone of voice I actually deduce that she had already violated her new “order” and had indulged. I’ll ask her next time we talk.

When you react you can’t look. When you look you won’t react.

Reaction, physiologically, expresses itself in a tightening, in a closing down, in a blockage. The light can’t get in.

When you can force yourself to look, you open yourself up, and the Light can come in and support you to look and accept and forgive and change, if necessary.

Two steps forward, one step back… that is how everyone grows. Don’t worry, I’ll help DD back on the path in no time. As soon as she can accept that this little backslide is normal… Got it?

” … pessimists are usually right, optimists are usually wrong, but most great changes were made by optimists.” — Thomas Friedman, New York Times, May 11, 2008

Ever felt like the mission of Kabbalah is too big? Like what we do may not make a difference. The environment is too far gone, people’s natures are too difficult to change, who are we kidding?

…Being an optimist is like telling the Creator “I believe in you. I don’t know how you are going to make it work, or when, but I know you can and will!”

I have several mastermind partners. One of them, Mike, is a book distributor. He has lofty ideals, but his “job” is not that lofty. His 72-name is “Global Transformation.”

Wow, what a job… you may say. And it probably is. How is he going to do it? After work? When he retires? You ask… and here is the “kicker.” He is going to do it 24/7. Global transformation begins with your own. And from your point of view, it ends there. That is the only place you have any real power. That is the only place that is up to you to change.

Well, you say, then what is special about Mike? He is doing what I am supposed to do, right? Yes, and no. And I tell you what is the difference: Mike will do it against the backdrop of “Global Transformation.” And will curtail his tendencies to try to change the world while he is unchanged. Familiar? No? It should be. It describes all of us. The difference is that it is Mike’s tikkun… while you, probably, are still working on some puny or less puny correction, like selfishness, impatience, etc.

My 72-name is “Forget Thyself.” For about 5 years it didn’t make sense to me. I am not an ego-maniac! In the 6th year I noticed an interesting phenomenon: whenever I would talk about an accomplishment, or a result, it wold go away. Instantly. Example: I would talk about (brag?) that my business just grew x dollars, and the next moment I would say all those dollars disappear, and become negative dollars.

I queried my friends if it ever happens to them, and it does, sometimes. Other people can get away with sharing about their good fortune, but not me. What’s that about.

Just very recently I had a suspicion: am I sharing those good things as MY accomplishments? I mean, do I acknowledge the Light for them? Am I grateful?

I noticed that in fact that suspicion was right on. I acknowledge me, i.e. ego spoke to aggrandize ego… and that is why I always lost what seemed to be already mine.

Next step is to figure out how to be humble… not an easy thing for me… Good. The harder it is the more light it will bring. Once I figure it out. Light, can you help? Please?

There are people in our lives who don’t want to receive what we have to give them. …

… we invest efforts into keeping some relationhships burning in our lives that we’d be better off letting burn out.

… life is all about circuitry. When we share our Light with people who don’t want to receive it, it’s like trying to fill a bottle when the cap is still on. Try as you might, with all of the love, intention, and desire to share, your energy simply cannot penetrate. And as with our favorite spiritual illustration, the lightbulb, if the negative pole is blocked, the circuit cannot be completed, and the energy cannot flow.

It’s not about judging people as worthy or unworthy. It’s about discerning who is ‘open’ to receive, and willing to use what we have to offer – wisdom, love, time, concern – no matter what flavor!

No doubt, if you go through your relationships, in your mind, one by one, you are going find several that fit the above description: Your desire to contribute to them is not received with an equal amount of desire to receive from you.

Some people, including my older self, make it our life’s purpose to give where it is not appreciated, or even not wanted. But everyone, at one time or another, decides where to give, by their own concepts, instead of looking where there is the most reception.

At the same time, one may fall into the opposite trap, the bottomless pit, or the bottle with the cap off, but cracked.

I used to have a client (or two, or three,… grrr) where we would have great conversations, I would be able to express all the light the Light wanted me to channel, but nothing would stick with the recipient.

This particular client, let’s call him Matt, was hungry for solutions, hungry for light, hungry… insatiable. What he wasn’t hungry for is making changes in his thinking or in his actions.

My style of coaching is to leave the client with a set of practices or action that they must complete in order for the session to make any real difference. Matt never did any of the actions, any of the practices. Instead, he came to every call as if the previous one had never happened.

He remembered them all right, but remembering is the booby prize… not much value there. His life didn’t notice he had that session.

I “fired him” from my practice.

I noticed that there was a certain co-dependency developing: it gave me a sense of accomplishment and an experience of being very bright to channel the Light. And he came to me like an alcoholic goes to the pub.

I needed to restrict my addictive tendencies and ask him to get his daily fix someplace else.

Result? I started to channel the Light into my writing, into my business, into my garden, and into my own well-being. All areas were parched… and all those areas are now starting to blossom.

The point? There is an abundance of Light available for you to channel. But channel it to someplace where it can make a difference, someplace where it will cause abundance. OK?

One holiday, a few years back, a bunch of students were up late (about 2 o’clock in the morning) celebrating. Some were getting tired and started to sit down. My father and teacher, Rav Berg, spoke to us for a second,

“Think about people who drive or fly many hours to go to Las Vegas. They arrive in Las Vegas very tired, but when they’re in front of the table they don’t think for a second about being tired until it’s morning. If they can be so energetic until the next morning, and have so much power when it’s total stimulation for the self-alone, can’t we bring ourselves to that state with such enormous connection with the Light?”

Yesterday I spoke about laziness and the Rav’s point is our laziness is conditional. When it comes to doing things for the self-alone, we’re super-motivated. But when it comes to things that require stretching outside of ourselves, there’s going to be resistance.

Today, act with passion, energy, and enthusiasm. This is how you break the laziness! All the different reasons we have for not taking risks are just intellectual tricks our dark side plays on us. Don’t accept those thoughts — push back!