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The age old question of any spiritual or self-help movement is: shall I get rid of the bad or shall I pile on the good?

If you look at health advertisements, the main line is: take stuff to pile on the good.

What does this say to you? For most people that means, that is what they should do. Look at the proliferation of superfoods, acai, etc. and tell me if this isn’t so.

But “who” is directing the main line? Who’s voice is trumpeted through all media? The Light or the Opponent? Of course it is the Opponent, the darkness, the ego part. But why would the ego part be so interested in you thinking that all you need to do is add some more goodies to your life, and everything will be all right?

I am going to use a little story here to drive the answer home. Imagine a that 100 righteous men are locked up by 100 bandits. The bandits beat up the righteous men every night. The light of the righteous men is dimmer by the day. The world is getting darker by the minute. This is your life: your health, your wealth, your relationships… I am not talking about an imaginary scenario: this is your life!

You have a choice: will you send in troops to strengthen the righteous men or will you send in troops with weapons to get rid of the bandits? Will you try to offset all the bad stuff you do and think with some good acts, or will you kill off the bad stuff?

Eating superfoods is like trying to fatten the righteous men, they will die from the daily beatings anyway. But the sellers make an incredible profit in the meantime.

The smart answer is: decimate or kill off the bandits.  i.e. stop doing what is killing you and what supports the darkness.

And this is what Kabbalah teaches, exactly. Its whole foundation is to make choices, moment to moment, to stop feeding the ego and listen to the soul. You can’t do both. At any moment, you are either in light or in darkness.

When you are hurting others, indulge, or feel jealousy, greed, anger, however justified, your world is all dark. Every moment you share, your world is all light.

Just like stealing money and giving 10% of it to charity wouldn’t make your world light, overindulging in bad stuff and then taking a multi-vitamin is all dark. Superfood are great when you have already stopped what’s killing you.

You need to cut out the bad, like the bandits in our story.

I wish I had known this before. I am paying the price now.

But you see, it’s never too late. Killing the bandits takes a moment. Even if it is your last.

I spent 1-3 hours with a very negative person for seven months in the very near past. I hated about 60-70 percent of every conversation. My attitude was that there is an opportunity lurking there, and I’d find it. That attitude was encouraged by my teachers.

At the end of the seven months I noticed that my financial situation had started to go south when I started that relationship. I was now at a point when I was not going to be able to pay my rent…

A normally hidden thought at that point surfaced in this person’s speaking, and I realized that they were my enemy, and a downer all along. They were in it for what was in it for them, and made sure there was nothing in it for me. They didn’t like me, didn’t care for me, compared me with themselves and they always came out on top, thought it unfare that I would make more money than them.

In that moment of clarity I saw that in those seven months I had handed over the control over my thoughts and life to this person, and it was time to take it back.

I also noticed that it had been a pattern in my life. I could see that there was my desire to “lift up” other people, even if they weren’t particularly interested. I call that caretaking in another post of mine… (Studies show that when a higher vibration person tries to lift up the vibration of another person, instead of the desired outcome, the lowest common denominator wins. Other studies show that in sado-masochistic relationship the real control is in the hand of the masochist, not the sadist, like it seems on the surface.)

You notice that you are not energized by the relationship. You notice that your health, your energy level, your self-love, your connection with your purpose is getting weaker and harder to maintain.

In hindsight the same thing happened with my male cat. He wanted food, he wanted shelter (when he wanted it), but he didn’t want me. He didn’t choose me.

When I look at my relationships (male/female) I see the pattern: it begins with me relentlessly pursuing a stable and steady connection where I am the contributor/giver, thus I have the upper hand. They begrudgingly protecting their right to maintain independence. I increase the pressure. At some point we are best friends. I continue the domination with giving and giving and giving. At some point I catch myself, and break off the relationship.

That’s been the movie of my life. Quite disgusting, if you ask me. And makes for a lonely, unfulfilled life.

Luckily to me, this time I had my eyes open and my fingers pointing at myself. This time I have taken 100% responsibility for my part in this mess.

This fact, having taken responsibility for my role as a director/writer of this movie, I have given myself a chance to write and direct movies that are more fulfilling and satisfying than this repeated nightmarish ego-driven script.

Since the awakening and breakoff, my financial situation is looking up, I am more in touch with my soul’s desire and things unpredictable and delicious are starting to show up in my space.

Watch this well-made, well acted video on a soulmate relationship that became trouble…

You get what you focus on. Focus = attention paid.

Now that is a good news/bad news situation, if there has ever been one.

Because you create your reality, and you create it with your words (what you focus on) you can seriously mis-create.

Let’s take weight, for example.

I used to be skinny. I mean skinny!

I ate what I ate, and had no thoughts about my weight or the lack of it.

Then I heard about healthy eating, and started to concentrate on “healthy” food. Guess what happened? I started to pack the weight on, and went from 96 lbs to 165 lbs in a few weeks, no kidding.

Even today, when I forget about my weight, or eating healthy, or what’s good for me, etc. I slim down. The moment I start to concentrate on some new health and energy diet, I pack it on. It takes only taking my attention and focus off the topic and I become normal.

It is like a fine tuned, well oiled machine. You can play with it. The Universe is exceptionally responsive. It’s easier to see on issues that are not pressing. Why?

Because all thoughts matter, not just your conscious thoughts. And you are only aware of 1%¹ of your thoughts, the others happen while you are busy with other things. Bummer, right? Serious bummer.

So when you experiment, Read More…

 

Footnotes:

1. Muscle testing has shown that only 1% of your thoughts are conscious and the 99% is totally unconscious. That is the area of what you don’t know you don’t know. Being able to influence your unconscious thoughts is the purpose of many self-improvement programs, meditation, hypnosis, different audio programs with hidden messages [↩]

First was the word… remember?

I know, I know, talk is cheap. But is it?

I am not talking about boasting, false promising, buttering up, etc. I am talking about all the times when you “just” talk. When you think you are describing how it is. When you think you are telling the truth. When you do your darndest best to describe reality… I am talking about that talking.

The words you use, the pictures you paint do not describe anything. They, instead, create. For you and for others.

When the media screams: there  is recession, they are painting pictures. When you tell someone stories to make them feel better but talk about somber stories with unhappy endings, you are painting pictures of gloom and doom in their world that, unless they are really careful, they will manifest, no kidding.

When you say “I want to lose weight” the picture of you running fast enough that the “weight” stays behind, but the moment you slow down so you can live, the weight catches up with you… have you noticed? If not in your life, in others?

When you say “I have to go to work” you are painting the picture of a prison with no joy, no freedom, no self-expression, no creativity… is this what you want half of your awake time to become? Oh, it already has? No wonder…

If you want to do well, you need to feel well. If you want to feel well, you need to use words that manifest that reality… remember parallel realities? Every word creates — or not — a parallel reality.

Most of us are stuck in a gloom and doom reality. There is a book title, Why you are sick, broke and dumb… or something like that. Can you see that a simple shift in the use of your words could take you to well, prosperous and gloriously bright?

You decide, and you are even motivated for a day, maybe even a week, then it goes away.

What’s the trick for staying motivated? Read More…

After you accept that there is an invisible 99% that is where all the answers are, even, and especially the ones you never think to ask… then what?

If you could never get “in touch” with the 99%, then you would still be left to your own devices.

The Law of Cause and Effect could be a great way to be guided, but, unfortunately, to preserve your free will, the cause (what you do) and the effect (what you get) are separated by time. Then they are scrambled.

You help someone, without ego. Brownie point for you. Next thing you know, you are hit with a negative effect. What gives?

You do something purely from ego… next thing you know, you get a raise… or some other positive effect.
You are confused. But time and the scrambling IS confusing.

Is there a way one could ask the 99% for advice?
Read More…

The following is very unorthodox, so don’t read if you don’t like someone who doesn’t push the company cart…

A few years ago, around 2003 I read the book “The Science of Getting Rich”

I loved it. The part I loved most is that The Light is seeking fuller and fuller expression of itself, and you and your actions are part of that expression. Your curiosity, your exploration, your learning new things, you playing with new toys and tools are all adding to the richness of The Light’s self expression and fullness.

Why do I love it so much? Because it adds an important layer of incentive to strive for more. My capacity for self love is not very strong, and therefore my desire for things for myself is not very strong.

But if what I desire enriches The Light, I can expect to get all the support I need, because WE get the result, The Light and me.

I think I have mentioned in another blog post that I love to play the solitaire computer game, called Freecell.
I think that you can have a personal conversation with the light (maybe it is the Shechina… i.e. surrounding light) and get a lot of guidance that way.

Take, for example, playing Freecell. Read More…

Regrets, I’ve had a few … .How many of us are stuck in ruts because we cling to past slights, traumas, missed opportunities, and betrayals? The best way to let go and move forward is to acknowledge and accept those negative things you did (or had done to you) as steps on the path that brought you to where you need to be today.

Today, recall the pain of your past. Allow yourself to get to the point where you can accept that they were blessings; the perfect things that helped you build a new you. If you can release your grip on the anger, sadness, and regret, then it will be easier to spot the Light in the darkness. (quoted from daily kabbalah tuneup)

Interesting that this would come up just now.

I am working with a client/friend, let’s call her DD. She has been doing great. She has gotten in touch with the light in herself and her power to choose.

She is severely overweight and it’s effecting her overall health, but more than anything, her self image.

This past week she has gotten hungry twice while she was doing errands, and she didn’t give in to the temptation to get a quick supersized meal at the many fast food places on her way… instead she drove home and ate what she had planned to eat that day. Major victory.

The effect on her self esteem, self image was dramatic. She suddenly could see the light at the end of the tunnel, both in regards to regaining her health, and in regards to making a living, being a good parent, loving herself.

Her capacity to face what she didn’t like about herself increased to a point where Read More…