My spiritual growth in and outside of Kabbalah

Seeds of Agenda: What’s In It For You?

kabbalah basics - Sophie Benshitta Maven


Rav Ashlag, founder of The Kabbalah Centre, said that ego-less sharing is almost impossible.

When a person wants to change and transform themselves, they will never do it unless they gets something out of it.

The energy needed for the sharing and caring must come from their ego.

There is a  paradox, no doubt. On one hand giving and sharing and caring sounds like it’s not selfish. On the other hand, without a selfish motive, no one will ever share. Mother Theresa, or anyone! But if the giving is selfish, the rewards are all ego-rewards, short term high, long term low…

But here is a move that will surprise you: when you acknowledge your initial selfish motives, the rewards of your giving are longer lasting. But when you think you are doing it out of the goodness of your hearts, there will be a short-circuit at some point in the process.

So, how do you do it? Be ruthlessly straight with yourself and find and acknowledge the ego root, the seed of agenda, in your “generous” behavior. Say, out-loud what’s in it for you.

For example I always say why I teach, that I won’t do anything that I don’t enjoy, that I only want students that I like and want to work with because I love myself… I never pose as a giver, I always position myself as the one who gets more out of each transaction that what I put into it.

Ever since I’ve been doing this, about a decade, the Light has been generous with me, my health have been much better, I sleep better, feel better, and life is working a lot better for me…

That acknowledgment transforms that same very seed into a seed of selflessness. How is that for an unexpected move… and paradox?


Why it’s great that you are judgmental

kabbalah basics - Sophie Benshitta Maven


“I don’t want to judge but…”

Before you judge yourself for judging another, consider this: It’s a good thing this is happening because it’s activating something inside, some part of yourself that is crying out for correction. Remember what I wrote in the Power of Kabbalah, The Light surrounds us with mirrors reflecting back what our soul needs to correct.

Today, don’t hate the mirror! Refocus on what’s coming up for you. You’ll see that as you begin to work on your reaction – and finding its hidden source – the judgment will fall away and understanding will take its place.

What’s the meaning (purpose) of life

kabbalah basics - Sophie Benshitta Maven


The two sources that helped me define what life could mean to me are Wallace D. Wattles and The Zohar, the definitive book of Kabbalah.

According to Wallace D. Wattles (of The Science of Getting Rich fame) is that life wants more life, and your job (YOU! Human Being) is to align yourself with that. More life means being able to have all the tools that you are capable of using, being on the cutting edge of thinking, etc. This has been really very inspiring to me.

I have worded this MY WAY: our job is to be God’s self-expression. God doesn’t have a thumb, but we do. And we are causing full self-expression to God when we use what we were blessed with, our bodies, our minds, our emotions.

Kabbalah is similar, in a way, saying that human beings are a part of the vessel the Light created (eons ago) to receive all its blessings, but (unfortunately and unintentionally) the Light’s desire to give got transmitted with the light that was giving fulfillment to the vessel, and at some point the vessel said: I don’t want to eat bread of shame any more, I want to be able to earn the light I receive, and be a giver, not just a receiver.

That is what caused the physical universe to spring into place, so that the vessel, (that broke into chards into the billions of souls) can earn its light in an environment of seeming scarcity, by becoming like god: giving of themselves.

Of course, physicality and scarcity are powerful forces, so it is not easy for the souls to “tame” their physical hosts… and only very few people in every generation elevate themselves much on the scale of 0-1000 (100% scarcity/ego to close to godliness).

So, in my life, this moment to moment to moment transformation of the selfishness and the full expression of what’s god (without being religious) is the purpose of living, i.e. the meaning I give to life.

And by selfishness I don’t necessarily mean material selfishness: generosity of heart is the opposite: I want for everyone what I want for myself. But I won’t give it to them and I won’t do it FOR them. I inspire them… by MY ACTIONS.

Now, this is a full blog-post… where is my blog… darn… when I need it? lol

Sophie Benshitta Maven

The last “evil inclination” to go

kabbalah basics - Sophie Benshitta Maven


Rabbi Akiva was a great sage of Rabbinical Studies and had lots of students, around 24 thousand. They all studied, and followed the rules, and practiced, etc.

Regardless, when the great plague came, all 24 thousand students died except five, among them Shimon Bar Yohai, the author of The Zohar, the main written book of Kabbalah.

Why would all those students die, and why the five. The legend says that Rabbi Akiva went through rigorous self-examination after this plague, and came to the conclusion that it was his fault: he did not squarely base all his teaching on the most fundamental (and hardest) principle: “love your neighbor as yourself”.

It is hard to define exactly what this “love your neighbor as yourself” is, because it is so missing from today’s culture.

What is it? respect? willingness to support another?

I am no sage, so I am going to give you a few recent examples I have experienced.

Why this is important? Because when you are violating this principle, you are disconnected from the 99%. When you are disconnected: your life goes darker. When you are disconnected: the things you desire move away from you. Is that good enough reason?

OK, here is something that happened last week:

Two revered friends of mine, business partners, teach stuff on the internet through webinars. So far so good, right?

They are both extraordinarily talented people. One has a more pleasant voice and a more pleasing way of stringing words together though.

You may expect, but in order to make a living with webinars, you need to sell them… 🙂

Half the people like the sharpness of one of these guys, the other half gets enchanted by the oratory capabilites of the other.

The other night I was at one of these “pitch” webinars and noticed the orator’s attitude of extreme beligerance. I picture him in my mind reclining in his chair, and lazily pumping out oh, yeah, hell yeah… constantly interrupting sharpie…

I sent a private message asking”are you drunk?”

“I wish” was the answer

“you do sound drunk…” I replied.

“so much for being encouraging” he retorted.

“well, you sound drunk, snap out of it” I commanded…

It took him a minute or two, but he eventually came around and became part of the presentation, instead of hindering it.

OK, I hope is visible and plain that the attitude of orator was: I do this better, i speak much better than you, I should be doing this, not you…

This, clearly, is disrespectful and diminishing for his partner… so it is violating the principle “love your neighbor as yourself”

Would you have noticed? Would you have known what is happening? Or would you have just gotten, below your conscious level of thought, that there is something off… and that you should not listen to sharpie… that he is no good? I think so.

What am I trying to say? That it is so ingrained in most of us that it is an “either you or me” world, that it would have not occurred as a disconnect from the divine…

The first level of any transformation is awareness.

I used to gossip. I still do, occasionally. I now catch myself fast, but only after the word is out of my mouth.

Gossip is designed to climb on another’s ruined reputation higher… but it is a mirage… everyone who listens feels that you are compensating for something lacking in you.

Since I have stopped to be constantly condescending, proud, gossipy, and comparing myself to others, my luck has increased, my fortune is coming, my health is better, because I disconnect less and less from where it all comes from, the 99%

Hate… why not to hate? How to have enough reason?

kabbalah basics - Sophie Benshitta Maven


I just came back from my chiropractor.

As is my practice, I took my outer clothing, including my shoes in the waiting room and then ready to go to the room with the tables. I hadn’t seen the receptionist in a while so started to walk around in my socks while talking to her, only to step into a cold wet puddle on the carpet.

“Oogh, I just stepped into my wet spot!” I exclaimed. “Oh, I hate that?” She said…

…and this is what this blogpost is about.

You don’t care what comes out of your mouth.

But what comes out of your mouth is even more important that what goes into your mouth. There is a whole billion dollar health food industry capitalizing on your concern of what goes into your mouth.

It’s time to start thinking like you are not a machine that cares about its fuel and fuel pump and exhaust.

You are a vibrational being and what comes out of your mouth makes you who you are… in this example a cringing, resisting, little clot of ailment complaining that the world isn’t going his way.

You can work to fix just one “hate” with months or years worth of healthfood, vitamins, superfood, working out, meditations, what have you… it is so powerful.

So stop it.

First use different words that feel better, like “it is not quite pleasant…”, or “it doesn’t quite agree with me…”
and then you’ll be able to just laugh… like I do.

It’s taken me a year or two to get here, but I tell you, it feels great.

In addition, I have been well. Wow.