I just came back from my chiropractor.

As is my practice, I took my outer clothing, including my shoes in the waiting room and then ready to go to the room with the tables. I hadn’t seen the receptionist in a while so started to walk around in my socks while talking to her, only to step into a cold wet puddle on the carpet.

“Oogh, I just stepped into my wet spot!” I exclaimed. “Oh, I hate that?” She said…

…and this is what this blogpost is about.

You don’t care what comes out of your mouth.

But what comes out of your mouth is even more important that what goes into your mouth. There is a whole billion dollar health food industry capitalizing on your concern of what goes into your mouth.

It’s time to start thinking like you are not a machine that cares about its fuel and fuel pump and exhaust.

You are a vibrational being and what comes out of your mouth makes you who you are… in this example a cringing, resisting, little clot of ailment complaining that the world isn’t going his way.

You can work to fix just one “hate” with months or years worth of healthfood, vitamins, superfood, working out, meditations, what have you… it is so powerful.

So stop it.

First use different words that feel better, like “it is not quite pleasant…”, or “it doesn’t quite agree with me…”
and then you’ll be able to just laugh… like I do.

It’s taken me a year or two to get here, but I tell you, it feels great.

In addition, I have been well. Wow.

In another blogpost on another blog I wrote about my last two years vs. my last four months “history”.

What I didn’t say in THAT blogpost on my recession blog, because it is ALL spiritual, is what happened in the last two weeks. It’s amazing, and it is probably the most important lesson one can learn about causing one’s life. (You may also want to refer back to my Live abundantly article

OK, here you go, here it goes.

Two years ago I bought a new laptop computer and gave my old one to my Kabbalah teacher, Naomi. It was a good computer, given from the heart.

A year ago I bought another laptop, but this time I held onto my now old one. But about six weeks ago Naomi told me that the old laptop was losing its monitor… it was slowly going blind. “OK,” I said, “I’ll give you my other laptop.”

I regretted saying that, the moment I said it. I need it, I want it… but then I watched myself not even touching it… it just sits there. “OK, I’ll clean it.”

Two weeks ago Naomi mentioned the computer again. “Don’t worry” I said “I just need to find time to clean it up for you. You know removing my stuff, restoring it to a new condition. OK?”

But cleaning a computer up takes two days, and I have been working 14-16 hours every day. I didn’t want to spend two days with that. So on the 20th of last month I had the thought that if I could get the money, I would rather not spend two days cleaning up that computer, I would just buy Naomi a new one. So I said, out loud . “Light, could I please have the money instead of having to clean that computer up? Please?”

Ten minutes later the phone rang and an unexpected order for 380 dollars was placed. 100% profit. OK, I said, half the price of a new computer… Light, can I please have the other half?

On the 24th I shared what had happened with Naomi. She said, “maybe what you have is enough for a new computer.” I looked up on Tigerdirect, and she was right. I found a good and cute laptop for less than $400.

Naomi and I finished our session and I went back to Tigerdirect. Now I was really confronted. I have always wanted a cute little computer like that, with Windows XP (that I like). “I want one for me.” nagged at me. “Maybe I give her my new computer…” I was sitting in front of the computer for what seemed an eternity, then I picked up the phone, and placed the order. With shipping it came to 396 dollars.

So, this is what I did.

That night I didn’t get tired, so I went to sleep rather late. Next morning I woke up, and I wasn’t tired. (I had been tired every morning, for many years…)

I had a great day… even though I got a nasty email from a customer. But I managed to restrict my urge to be nasty back, and she wrote back a nice note of appreciation. Wow.

I watched my face in the mirror, and I was getting prettier every day.
My thoughts about myself were something like “Hey, I am something. I am an amazing human being.”
In the last two days I’ve written 12 articles. I felt and behaved unstoppable. It’s early to say, but I say it will continue.

And when your behavior and your mindset is inspired, the other goodies, like money, fame and fortune will follow. You don’t have to worry about them.

OK, so this is what actually happened. Big deal, you could say, but you would be wrong. It is a big deal.

Why? Because I have distinguished an important spiritual law.

This is how it works: You create an action that requires you to restrict your egoistic inclination. You do it from the correct mindset: you do it to create light for yourself.

You don’t turn it into an ego trip, you don’t brag about it. This is important. It would stop the process cold right here.

You listen to the stirrings of the soul, the whisperings. If you can hear it, it says something nice about you. You express and feel gratitude for that. You listen for suggestions for an inspired action. When you hear one, you act on it, and express and feel gratitude.

All the while you are staying conscious that you do none of the actions for do-gooding purposes (very important), you are doing it to earn light. Spiritual Greed, or Enlightened Greed, as the Rav calls it. Do-gooding comes from Satan, comes from Ego.

You continue this way: listen for suggestions for inspired action, act, and express gratitude.

Don’t worry, the Light will help you along the way. Now you are working together.

There is no mountain that you can’t scale that way. There is no rock that you can’t push to the top of the mountain this way without it every rolling back to the bottom again.* In spite of all the temptation, every step of the way.

So this was the teaching. But the benefits did not stop there.

Another major fall out being able to answer my forever unanswerable question that I’d asked since 1966 when I first went to Architecture School. You see, I only want to do something that I can be really good at, who would want to be mediocre. Not me, thank you. So the question I asked: “Am I talented?”

Unfortunately, until today, I could not answer that question for myself. What everybody else said didn’t matter.

You see, architects are taught (in Hungary) in a one-on-one tutoring environment.

You see your teacher three times a week, for five months. That is the length of a normal project.

You put something on paper at home, and bring it in. The teacher puts transparent sketching paper on top of it, and starts working with what you had done. And talks, talks, talks.

You take his sketch home, and put it on paper adding your thoughts and ideas to it. You bring it back two days later. And it goes like that until the plan is done. Then you get a grade. And if your grade is good, and mine were all A’s, then you wonder if you did it or he did it, and if you are talented or your teacher is.

But just like in the above story with the computer: the Light (teacher) did not take the first step, I did. And the first step takes the most courage, because you can be all wrong. Then the Light (teacher) adds to it what he adds to it, and you take it home, and you have a choice to be courageous again or not. To act on the Light’s suggestion or not. To be slavish or to add your own brilliance and risk being wrong.

So I got that I was very talented, and it was a pleasure for the Light to work with me.

And I can keep it this way. And if/when, for whatever reason I drop the ball, now I know how to start the process again. The ball never rolls back again to the bottom of the hill. Because now I am not clueless like most of humanity.

And if you’ve read this far, you are not either… If anything is not clear, please don’t hesitate using the comment form to ask for clarification. Please.

* I am referring to the myth of Sisyphus in Greek Mythology.

As I said in my last blogpost, my 72-name is “Forget Thyself.”

In my “Your Soul’s Purpose” process it was worded this way “Bring The Divine to Everything.”

As I was reflecting on the last article I wrote, it occurred to me that one of my “unanswerable questions” is: “Am I smart enough?”

If a question is unanswerable, you want to know the answer all the more. So I have been asking this question since time immemorial, and I have been getting yeses and nos… never any clarity.

I have been asking the wrong question, and when you ask the wrong question, your attention is on the wrong thing. (I could ask the same question more generally, so that you can find yourself in it, if your question is not about your mental capabilities, like me. I could ask: Is what I am doing now make me look good? Is what I am doing now say that I am good/ worthy/ smart/ capable/ handsome/ creative/ informed/ educated/loser… etc. etc. )

Those questions are asked by the ego, that is only interested in its own survival. It is classic “desire for the self alone.” No effort necessary to worry about yourself. We are wired like that. We are also wired to have a hidden layer, underneath this seemingly innocent concern: and that is: do I look better than x, am I smarter than x, am I able to win in this competition that exists in my mind with x?

When you reveal that layer, you really see that in the moment you are in THAT inquiry, you just disconnected from the Light. Any concern for yourself disconnects you from the Light.

So when I perform a miracle, have a breakthrough, etc. (obviously with the help of the Light) and then I brag about what I did (i.e. how great I am) I am disconnecting from the Light and all the accomplishment comes crumbling down, because it wasn’t mine to begin with.

Bad news, don’t you think?

But as I was thinking that, I also had another thought, obviously from the Light, is that all you have to do is make the effort and then the Light will do the rest.

That though brought tears into my eyes. Tears of relief, and tears of gratitude.

I haven’t had a lot of experience getting help from anyone ever before. I wanted it, I craved it, I hoped for it, but never really experienced it. And the operative word is “experience” here, because obviously the help was always there, but in my 1% blindness could not see it, could not acknowledge it, could not revel in it, could not use it to the max…

My life has felt like the life of Sisyphus.

Quoting from Wikipedia:

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus (Greek: ??????? [sí.sy.phos] ['si.si.fos] (help·info), Latinized: Sisyphus,  was a king punished in Tartarus by being cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll down again, and to repeat this throughout eternity.

Today, Sisyphean can be used as an adjective meaning that an activity is unending and/or repetitive. It could also be used to refer to tasks that are pointless and unrewarding.

or in another paragraph, same page:

“Sisyphean task” or “Sisyphean challenge”

As a punishment from the gods for his trickery, Sisyphus was compelled to roll a huge rock up a steep hill, but before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down again, forcing him to begin again.

The maddening nature of the punishment was reserved for Sisyphus due to his hubristic (overweening pride, self-confidence, superciliousness, or arrogance) belief that his cleverness surpassed that of Zeus.

Sisyphus took the bold step of reporting one of Zeus’s sexual conquests, …but regardless of the impropriety of Zeus’s frequent conquests, Sisyphus overstepped his bounds by considering himself a peer of the gods who could rightfully report their indiscretions. As a result, Zeus displayed his own cleverness by binding Sisyphus to an eternity of frustration. Accordingly, pointless or interminable activities are often described as Sisyphean.

The story (myth) of Sisyphus describes my life. Thinking myself clever, I have considered myself equal to the gods (the Light) and was arrogant, and my life and my results did look like before the boulder reaches the top of the hill it rolls back again. Wow.

And this has been my tikkun (correction). And until today I had no idea what to do and how to do it, because I could not see what I was doing.

I think this is important: you can’t see your own shortcomings, or not really, and therefore the first job is to see it. Others can help, but ultimately you need to do the work.

Once you see your tikkun, you can ask for help from the Light to DO your tikkun.

And if your tikkun is “Forget Thyself”, just asking is already beginning the tikkun. Wow.