Tag: Computer Game

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The vessel, friction, surrounding light revealed

There is a new source for Kabbalah learning, Kabbalah University.

I had been hesitant: it must be just another scam to get my money. But finally I gave in, and bought it. It’s $42 a month.

There are daily lectures and the experience is phenomenal. I have experienced an immersion like never before.

I have learned stuff I didn’t even know I should ask, even though it was about something I experienced.

For example I have been, from time to time, experiencing extreme anxiety, pressure, restlessness, almost a physical pain. It has nothing to do with what ‘s going on in my life, it has nothing to do with my health, obviously it is something non-physical. I decided that it was a good thing, but had no good explanation, why it would be a good thing.

I found out that the Light always wants to give you more than you want to receive. That creates a lack of vessel to receive the light. The pressure is an indication of that.

So what do I normally do when this happens? I play computer games, talk incessantly on the phone, all “satan” stuff, not in the right direction. OK? So what should I do to grow a vessel big enough to receive all the light that is coming to me?

I don’t quite have an answer, but one thing is sure: deflecting the light isn’t going to grow my vessel…

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An Insight Into The Light and Our Relationship With It

God hand opposable thumb kabbalahThe following is very unorthodox, so don’t read if you don’t like someone who doesn’t push the company cart… 🙂

A few years ago, around 2003 I read the book “The Science of Getting Rich”

I loved it. The part I loved most is that The Light is seeking fuller and fuller expression of itself, and you and your actions are part of that expression. Your curiosity, your exploration, your learning new things, you playing with new toys and tools are all adding to the richness of The Light’s self expression and fullness.

Why do I love it so much? Because it adds an important layer of incentive to strive for more. My capacity for self love is not very strong, and therefore my desire for things for myself is not very strong.

But if what I desire enriches The Light, I can expect to get all the support I need, because WE get the result, The Light and me.

I think I have mentioned in another blog post that I love to play the solitaire computer game, called Freecell.
I think that you can have a personal conversation with the light (maybe it is the Shechina… i.e. surrounding light) and get a lot of guidance that way.

Take, for example, playing Freecell. Continue reading “An Insight Into The Light and Our Relationship With It”

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Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?

gurdjieffI have been observing myself as a spiritual practice. Trying to “remember myself” as Gurdjieff would say it, call upon the “witness” or “observer”. Be awake. Either way, I have noticed something remarkable about myself: see if you can relate.

When I am in front of my computer* (where I spend most of my day) and I encounter something that requires the slightest push on my end, I see myself automatically going to the computer game of my choice, freecell.

I began observing this phenomenon about 6 months ago (it was there, unobserved, for many years). But 4 days ago I decided to employ “restriction,” which is one of Kabbalah’s main tenets, and see what will happen.

For about 36 hours I closed the freecell program as soon as I opened it. Then every time I was “awake” which means I was by myself and I was still observing myself. On the other hand, every time I was on the phone, or watching a video on my computer, or listening to an audio file, my attention wasn’t on myself, and I played… until I “woke up.”

Still curious, more interested in the experiment than conquering the force that moves my hand, I saw something today that is worth sharing.

Since I have started this blog, I have been watching how I somehow leak the energy that is necessary for creative thinking and expression… by talking on the phone, by playing freecell.

Every occasion when I need the little push and I opt to play instead, two things happen: 1. I have diminished the internal discomfort 2. I have successfully diverted my attention from what is important to me.

The first one is good, right? Who would want to be uncomfortable, after all. Continue reading “Satan? Ego? Useful or Faulty Design?”