I had a conversation with Zsuzsa, a friend of mine from architecture school.
I normally hide from her, because she is traditionally very negative. But last instant messaging we had she sounded upbeat, so I thought, I’d give it a try. I know how to break off a conversation when it goes south.
As fate has it, she broke her hand a few months ago, it didn’t heal well, and she has had a lot of pain. Interestingly it has changed her. Permanently or temporarily, I don’t know. My hunch is that it is temporary…
Anyway, I shared with her my experience with the nose bleed. She didn’t quite grasp it at first. She has had nose bleeds but her first thought wasn’t: this is the beginning of the end, so for her the chance of a breakthrough with that would have been small.
On the other hand, given that she is an architect, her right hand is her bread and butter, so creating a new way to look at it was a definite breakthrough for her.
I was mulling over this today as I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
“You need to trust the whisper inside your head that says that what’s happening is a good thing.” I thought, but then I cringed. Some 58 years ago I thought just that and where did it lead me?!
 Continue reading “My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, The Tongue in The Shoes”

On Saturday, January 3rd, at exactly 5:42 pm my nose started to bleed. By the time I grabbed something to hold to my nose I was soaked in blood. Red, thick, beautiful blood. Scary. My inner eyes projected a scenario: me, on the floor, dead, in a pool of blood.
In another blogpost on another blog I wrote about my last two years vs. my last four months “history”.
One night, the Shah dressed up as a peasant to enjoy the evening air undisturbed by his rank, and to wander through the streets of his empire unnoticed. He walked through town and reached the poor section of town. The street was quiet, but suddenly he heard singing from a little cottage. As he peaked through the window he saw a man sitting at a table.
“But what will be your fate if something happens to you or you get too old to work?”” asked the Shah.