Tag: Fear

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Why do you hold onto unproductive relationships?

Some relationships feed us and make us better people and others just drain us. It’s obvious why we maintain the good ones, but why do we hold onto bad friends, lovers, and relatives?

Guilt? Fear of being alone? Thoughts that one day we’ll get something from these people? Afraid of hurting them? Forget it. If an emotional tie is no longer serving you, then it’s no longer serving you.

Think of it this way – relationships are like bonfires – they require constant oxygen and firewood (ie. love and attention.) When we keep a bunch of fires burning because we’re afraid to let them die out, (I’ll call you soon, we really have to get together) it just sucks up our life force. There’s only so much fuel we can give out at one time.

Imagine if you could pour all of your love, compassion and oxygen into the ones that you are absolutely committed to (or would like to be committed to.)

It’s a big risk to let those little fires burn out. But the benefit is that it frees up your energy to devote to building up other fires that do serve you.

As you’re reading this, what person is flashing through your mind? Maybe it’s time to let that fire burn out.

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Fear… is it stopping you?

When you get down to it, we basically go back and forth between two basic emotions: love and fear.

Fear can be healthy (fear of walking into traffic) but most of the time, it’s an unreal movie we are playing in our head.

The reason I bring this up is I imagine if you are doing these daily risk exercises, you are coming up against fear. By the way, how are you doing with the exercises? Are you getting what you need?

Today, I have a simple question for you. Please ponder it. And find a way to act on it.

What risks would you take if you weren’t afraid?

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The Right Action… When you see it, do you jump into it?

What we’re talking about in these dailies is whenever we see an opportunity to do the right thing, the right restriction, the right giving, the right sharing, the right treatment for our bodies, the right discipline, we don’t want to let any thought and space come between the opportunity and the action. Just jump and do it. Grab the opportunity.

The spiritual law is that as you train yourself to jump right away into action, without giving any space for doubts or procrastination, gradually it becomes second nature and we love to do it. We look forward to emotional risks the way we look forward to going to a movie. If we’re late for a movie, we hurry into the theater, running toward the movie, right?

Keep running towards the biggest confrontations and fears and challenges in your life. Do it over and over and over and over until it becomes part of you. Rush into action!

What’s your risk today?
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Tell The Truth… Even if it hurts

It’s difficult to be lovingly truthful with others. When an opportunity arises to confront someone with the truth, we lock up; our hearts race and our adrenaline pumps at the mere prospect of speaking our mind.

It’s always easier to tell people what they want to hear. It’s more comfortable to agree with someone even if we don’t agree in our hearts.

Fear of speaking the truth is a stumbling block we face in our desire to experience fulfilling, honest and loving relationships. When we hold something back, that something separates us from the other person.

Today, be courageous. Open your mouth when you need to tell the truth.

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What do people think about you?

One of the best things for our spiritual growth – and also one of our biggest fears – is hearing what other people think about us.

When the Holy Temple still stood in Jerusalem, it is said that inside was a mirror one could look in to see the state of one’s soul. When the temple [and mirror] were destroyed, the Zohar teaches that people became the mirror for us.

As we take stock of our lives in this month, preparing our wish lists for the new year, we want to be facing those truths which only others can show us. Don’t do it out of weakness, do it out of strength, knowing that the moment you hold your darkness up to the Light, it burns!

Today, feel the burn of whatever emotion comes up as you ask at least (3) people what they think you need to work on the most. If there was one thing you needed to change for next year, what would it be? And maybe tell them about this risk exercise you’re doing. See where that takes you.