My spiritual growth in and outside of Kabbalah
The first 42 letters of the Torah, (The Old Testament) are powerful tools for creation. Each line of the 7-line prayer consist of 6 letters, and each line has a different energy, removing time between cause and effect, infusing your being with the power of creation, purifying, removing ego, etc.
Yahuda Berg wrote a great book about it, and the flash video explains it and shows how to do it correctly to accomplish what you aim for. click here for the video
Dream 1: I am playing with and fascinated by some colored dots that make a pattern, though moving, still a pattern, building something. At some point the dots suddenly lose color and die, and the fascinating pattern deteriorates to a one color dying, diminishing mess. I wake up. I know it is the message I asked for. My interpretation: don’t be fascinated with the ever changing outside world… turn your attention inward where you call all the shots.
Dream 2: I am invited to a conference in France. I haven’t been there for over 30 years. I want to go. I go. I just throw some clothes in an overnight bag and go. I am there, and I am having fun. I am ready to come back… I can’t. The doors of the US are closed. I am not having fun any more. I have no money, no place to stay. None of my things, including my business, are with me, it was all left in the US. I panic. I wake up. I sob. “I left without as much as a blanket and a pillow…” I cry. I know it is a message. I don’t think I have asked for this. But it came, so it is relevant. My interpretation: 1. think before you leap and don’t do something if it risks too much. 2. Leap. Build from nothing. that is where the blessing is. How can you do those two things at the same time?
You wave your magic wand, and bada bing bada bang, a little magic dust, and you have a miracle.
Or you take a little pill, and you wake up beautiful, slim, sexy, and rich.
Or you pray that God gives you a miracle
Or you meditate
Or you buy that get-rich-quick scheme that promises overnight money with no work at all
Or you play it over and over in the theater of your mind… You feel it… you appreciate everything… still…
But all these don’t cause a miracle.
No matter how skillfully you wave the wand, or how fancy (and expensive) the little pill is, how passionately you pray… etc. etc. etc.
No. none of them work. Continue reading “Magic Bullet… How To Make a Miracle”
I had a conversation with Zsuzsa, a friend of mine from architecture school.
I normally hide from her, because she is traditionally very negative. But last instant messaging we had she sounded upbeat, so I thought, I’d give it a try. I know how to break off a conversation when it goes south.
As fate has it, she broke her hand a few months ago, it didn’t heal well, and she has had a lot of pain. Interestingly it has changed her. Permanently or temporarily, I don’t know. My hunch is that it is temporary…
Anyway, I shared with her my experience with the nose bleed. She didn’t quite grasp it at first. She has had nose bleeds but her first thought wasn’t: this is the beginning of the end, so for her the chance of a breakthrough with that would have been small.
On the other hand, given that she is an architect, her right hand is her bread and butter, so creating a new way to look at it was a definite breakthrough for her.
I was mulling over this today as I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
“You need to trust the whisper inside your head that says that what’s happening is a good thing.” I thought, but then I cringed. Some 58 years ago I thought just that and where did it lead me?!
Continue reading “My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, The Tongue in The Shoes”
On Saturday, January 3rd, at exactly 5:42 pm my nose started to bleed. By the time I grabbed something to hold to my nose I was soaked in blood. Red, thick, beautiful blood. Scary. My inner eyes projected a scenario: me, on the floor, dead, in a pool of blood.
I checked my pulse and it was bang, bang, bang, unusually strong. “I must have high blood pressure” I thought. Both my parents died of broken blood vessels… and both my brothers have high blood pressure.
The blood eruption repeated itself at 11:02 pm, three times on Sunday, and twice on Monday.
Monday night, as I was staring at the blank wall contemplating the chances of dying, I suddenly saw my Kabbalah teacher in my mind’s eye. She recently recovered from a nasty disease, and it had done her a world of good. She literally transformed herself during the months of her illness. Continue reading “How Do You Recognize Your Soul Mate?”