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Seeds of Agenda: What’s In It For You?
Rav Ashlag, founder of The Kabbalah Centre, said that ego-less sharing is almost impossible.
When a person wants to change and transform themselves, they will never do it unless they gets something out of it.
The energy needed for the sharing and caring must come from their ego.
There is a paradox, no doubt. On one hand giving and sharing and caring sounds like it’s not selfish. On the other hand, without a selfish motive, no one will ever share. Mother Theresa, or anyone! But if the giving is selfish, the rewards are all ego-rewards, short term high, long term low…
But here is a move that will surprise you: when you acknowledge your initial selfish motives, the rewards of your giving are longer lasting. But when you think you are doing it out of the goodness of your hearts, there will be a short-circuit at some point in the process.
So, how do you do it? Be ruthlessly straight with yourself and find and acknowledge the ego root, the seed of agenda, in your “generous” behavior. Say, out-loud what’s in it for you.
For example I always say why I teach, that I won’t do anything that I don’t enjoy, that I only want students that I like and want to work with because I love myself… I never pose as a giver, I always position myself as the one who gets more out of each transaction that what I put into it.
Ever since I’ve been doing this, about a decade, the Light has been generous with me, my health have been much better, I sleep better, feel better, and life is working a lot better for me…
That acknowledgment transforms that same very seed into a seed of selflessness. How is that for an unexpected move… and paradox?
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Make a decision… but which one? Hypnosis to the rescue
I called Steve Meade, excellent hypnotist for a session. I wanted help with choosing a niche for my future internet marketing endevours, because at the moment I am being tugged into 5 different directions, which means I am not advancing in any of them with only one fifth of my heart and energy available for each.
Steve and I had an hour long conversation, and set up the session for today… and I am writing this just a few minutes after having come out of the mental state of deep relaxation and focus… what a trip.
At the beginning I had difficulty breathing I was so scared of having to choose. I am not comfortable choosing. Choosing has never worked out for me. It feels forced, and I almost never make a good choice.
Finally, I was captivated by the image Steve asked me to put myself into, my favorite beach.
My favorite beach is a place where I was last 43 years ago. It was a time in my life where I was the happiest, the most confident: confidence of youth. I just had graduated from high school, and was accepted to architecture school where the overapplication ratio was 21 to 1. There were 96 spots, and over 2,000 applicants.
I aced all the exams, and I felt smart, powerful, beautiful (and I have pictures to prove that it was more than just a feeling).
So there I am, on this beach in Yugoslavia, sitting on a beach chair, half reclined, the water is green-blue, the sun is dancing on the gentle waves, the sounds of the water streaming down on the rocks is like crystal giggles, an occasional bird crying out. My mom is sitting to my right with a fishing rod, and across from the beach a small island with rich vegetation is beckoning. I see a storm hut there, and the beach there is sandy… The sun feels liquid, gently finding a way into every nook and cranny, a golden warm caress.
I am contemplating swimming over to the little island and back, just to feel the silky water on my body dissolving in the sun.
But, oh no, Steve is asking me to concentrate on the horizon. Where is the horizon? I see a little horizon to the right of the island, so I start to concentrate on that, it is far, it is vague, and it is not where I want to go. But that is what he asks me to go to, and he says a path arises from the water leading me there.
Hm. How about going to the island first, and maybe from there I will be able to see small islands, rocks, maybe pebbles that will call out to me to go to, and I can break up the “trip” to delicious and attractive bits… allow the path to choose me, instead of the dreaded heady choosing.
And in my imagination that is exactly what I do. As soon as I fully “own” and “love” my little island another one starts to beckon and love me away, choose me, and I am passed, loving hand to loving hand, all the way to heaven.
As far as I can see, this model that emerged from this hypnosis session is in harmony with my “human design,” with being a quick-start (conation), and with all the successful choices I have ever made in my life… choose to accept an invitation.
Thank you Steve. you are a master hypnotist, and I am very happy with my result. Thank you, thank you.
My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, The Tongue in The Shoes
I had a conversation with Zsuzsa, a friend of mine from architecture school.
I normally hide from her, because she is traditionally very negative. But last instant messaging we had she sounded upbeat, so I thought, I’d give it a try. I know how to break off a conversation when it goes south.
As fate has it, she broke her hand a few months ago, it didn’t heal well, and she has had a lot of pain. Interestingly it has changed her. Permanently or temporarily, I don’t know. My hunch is that it is temporary…
Anyway, I shared with her my experience with the nose bleed. She didn’t quite grasp it at first. She has had nose bleeds but her first thought wasn’t: this is the beginning of the end, so for her the chance of a breakthrough with that would have been small.
On the other hand, given that she is an architect, her right hand is her bread and butter, so creating a new way to look at it was a definite breakthrough for her.
I was mulling over this today as I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
“You need to trust the whisper inside your head that says that what’s happening is a good thing.” I thought, but then I cringed. Some 58 years ago I thought just that and where did it lead me?!
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