Category: my personal story

Posted on

How Do You Recognize Your Soul Mate?

On Saturday, January 3rd, at exactly 5:42 pm my nose started to bleed. By the time I grabbed something to hold to my nose I was soaked in blood. Red, thick, beautiful blood. Scary. My inner eyes projected a scenario: me, on the floor, dead, in a pool of blood.

I checked my pulse and it was bang, bang, bang, unusually strong. “I must have high blood pressure” I thought. Both my parents died of broken blood vessels… and both my brothers have high blood pressure.

The blood eruption repeated itself at 11:02 pm, three times on Sunday, and twice on Monday.

Monday night, as I was staring at the blank wall contemplating the chances of dying, I suddenly saw my Kabbalah teacher in my mind’s eye. She recently recovered from a nasty disease, and it had done her a world of good. She literally transformed herself during the months of her illness. Continue reading “How Do You Recognize Your Soul Mate?”

Posted on

Sharing. The misused word… just share… i.e. sell?

thegood-thebad-theugly

I know the word sharing gets thrown around in these emails quite a bit. Sometimes we become numb to the word. To get back to basics, sharing means giving something of ourselves.

It can be sharing with someone we’re not used to sharing with. It can be opening up with someone we’re not used to opening up to. It can be calling someone with whom we’re holding a grudge and wishing them well and saying something nice, some words of wisdom. It can be anything. It just has to be an unconditional stretch.

As a certified est-hole and Landmark junkie, I have heard the urging “Share, share share.”

In Landmark they mean “Bring more chumps like you so that Landmark can become a World Class Organization, here to stay.” They mean: do our selling for us. Maybe they don’t, but that is how it lands for people.

In multilevel marketing companies (network marketing, MLM) they say the same thing, but mean, definitely, selling. Continue reading “Sharing. The misused word… just share… i.e. sell?”

Posted on

Get the f… out of my way!

Hitler's army style military marchRecovering Victim, get the f… out of my way.

That was on the front of my T-shirt in 1991 at the Communication Commando Course… a week long Landmark Education program.

What was that about?

Here is the story.

In the course, on the 2nd day, if I remember correctly, we were talking about your “default” albeit hidden way of communicating. We formed small groups of five, and we looked at each other and made up a little statement of what we thought the person was communicating under their usual facade. Continue reading “Get the f… out of my way!”

Posted on

Crave it to have it, crave it to keep it. Money? love? success?

hallelujah uttered in brokenness

The Zohar teaches us desire is a vessel that holds the Light. The idea is attaining blessings and good fortune is not enough to keep them. We must also maintain our desire for what we already have.
Not always an easy thing to do seeing as how our habit is to focus on what we don’t have.
Today, get in touch with the desire you first felt when you started studying Kabbalah, or dating your husband, or working at your dream job. Crave your life!

I had something happen today that was an interesting aspect of this same thing.

Diana and I are partners in our quest to create a business that would benefit both of us.

We have created seven projects, and all seven flopped.
Continue reading “Crave it to have it, crave it to keep it. Money? love? success?”

Posted on

Are you deserving? Or even your pets deserve more than you?

Many of us don’t bother to ask for more, or to challenge our status quo, or to dream bigger because we don’t feel like we deserve it. We feel, at the core, that we are “wrong.”

When we feel “wrong” in speaking up or fulfilling a deep need, it’s because we are getting in touch with something that wasn’t accepted in us when we were younger, or in a past life. For example, when people who weren’t allowed to feel joy start feeling joy, it confuses them, and even makes them uncomfortable. That’s why we sabotage ourselves.

Today, get in touch with what feels wrong to you. Give yourself permission to feel right.

Another aspect of this “being wrong” or “being the wrong one” is that we put everyone’s need before ours.

I developed that characteristic over time.

Just a week ago I had two cats that I spent more money on their food than my own, spent more time worrying about their well-being than mine.

One cat, an abandoned male cat Continue reading “Are you deserving? Or even your pets deserve more than you?”